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Thursday, July 12, 2012 / -india arie, "good man"


02072012 As cliche as it sounds, it is one of the most unforgettable birthdays in my entire life history. Trust me, it is.

The boyfriend officially solidified our love by a ring. That was his surprise for my 21st. I am beyond happy that he finally took up the courage to do this. We had discussed the matter for a while but it did not seem like he was that serious until the very day which proves me otherwise. That explains, the headaches he has been having, the no-time-for-me-even-for-a-text, the lesser and lesser dates. Had I known what was coming, I would have been a great girlfriend and I wouldn't had bother him but since he insist on surprising, I admit I was a little bratty. Otherwise, things have been great, Alhamdulillah. He has been a little different lately, saying things like, "Baby, you're more than just my girlfriend now, you do know that right?" Like I need that to fall head over heels all over madly in love with him again and again.

He is my first boyfriend and now we're engaged and I'm his fiancee. I'm still slowly adjusting to our new label; ENGAGED. It feels awkward, matured, lovely, scary.. It's a jumble of things that I think both of us equally feels because things are getting more serious now. The thought of confirming a house next month, the thought of saving as much as possible ASAP towards building a stable future.

He also did convert to Muslim on my very birthday. He is a really very special one, this Muhammad Daniyal. I'm glad for walking in to Uniqlo for the very job opportunity two years ago. That was where we first met, became from friends to a listening ear buddy then best friends who chased me around and making me smile at work, caring boyfriend...Lover and what we are now. 

I love you, Muhammad Daniyal and if God wills, we will have a strong and everlasting love relationship. Amin.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012 / -pixie lott, "we just go on"



holidays are here. what was a roller coaster before came to an abrupt halt. everything just went calm and i feel so lost, so out of balance. i have been on sleepless nights, stressing, wrecking with my face in the toilet. all that had stopped. it's been about a week now and i am still trying to get my shit together. sem 2 didn't went well for me. i was on the verge of losing it. i troubled a lot of people, too much people. i was a massive guilt trip. it was nightmare. it is over.

i have the three months to revive. get healthy. gather my inspirations. get back to what brought me to the very decision in the very first place. back when i was extremely ambitious that no one could stop me. i can't back out. not now. i keep questioning what my future would consist of and it scares the shit out of me. i gotta do something. figure what is right before i make the biggest mistake in my life.

i need to wake up.

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Friday, March 30, 2012 / -radiohead, "karma police"
I am at my most most vulnerable state. Slightest thing could break me. It's at this point of time the workload, the emotions, the surrounding, Everything(!!!!) feels like it's getting at me. I have been pushing all these negativities, venting it all out but it keeps coming back. And when that happens I just break down. I really don't know what's going on with myself but I better get my shit back together and finish this 2 weeks of school before the 'D Day'. 

For some people with some reasons, I wish ya'll a F you. Karma police just around the corner yo..
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